Title: Spark Author: Erin Noelle Genre: Mature New Adult Release Date: April 20

 

  

 I’m failing. My younger brother is getting worse, and my job – my duty – is to help him at all costs. We’ve tried everything modern medicine has to offer and nothing works. Nothing. Deciding to turn to unconventional treatments, we end up at Fire-on-the-Mountain, a holistic resort deep in the Rockies. In our search for medical marijuana, I find beautiful, free-spirited Hudson Shavell – a girl who may not only hold the key to heal my brother, but to fix me as well. Even though I can’t afford distractions right now, she’s all I can think about. All that I want. It’s funny how everything can change with one little SPARK.

   

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Hudson “Hey, stud man. We haven’t even been here an hour and you’ve already got the hot chicks flocking to you. I’m impressed.” Smirking, he ruffles the back of my new friend Caleb’s sandy-colored hair, his twinkling green eyes still locked on mine. The cute, freckle-faced kid cranes his neck up to look at him with a big, goofy grin. “Well, I learned from the best of the best.” “That you did, lil’ bro. That you most certainly did,” he repeats lowly, obviously referring to himself. The taunting smirk transforms into a full-blown, I-get-girls-to-drop-their-panties-at-will smile, and I subtly grab ahold of the chair in front of me, steadying myself from whatever craziness is happening inside of me while praying my tights are immune to his allure and stay up on my hips. Okay, so maybe he’s a wee bit full of himself, but he did call me hot, so I’m willing to forgive a little cockiness. It’s not until Mary says, “Crew, stop being an arrogant ass and properly introduce yourself to this nice girl. Her family owns the lodge,” that I realize I haven’t spoken a word or stopped staring at him since he walked in. God, I must look like a complete idiot. Closing my jaw, which had evidently dropped open sometime during my gawking session, I force out the improper thoughts swirling in my head—a rarity for me—and turn on my best hostess face, extending my arm in his direction. “Hi, I’m Hudson Shavell.” Those are the only words I can manage, because when he takes my hand in his, all of the nerve endings in my fingers and my palm fly into hyperdrive, shooting a jolt of energy straight up my arm and throughout the rest of my body. “Nice to meet ya, Hudson Shavell. I’m Crew Elliott, the arrogant ass for a son,” he jokes, his Southern drawl endearing, while holding onto my hand a few seconds longer than necessary. “I’m glad you got to meet the sweet son first, but don’t let that innocent face fool you; he’s more of a heartbreaker than I could ever dream of being.” “Shut up, Crew!” Caleb exclaims, playfully punching his older brother in the ribs. “Don’t be cock-blocking me. Even if Hudson here isn’t digging my chili, have you looked around and seen the rest of her sisters? They’re smokin’ too, man.” Unable to hold back, I burst out laughing as Mary flicks her younger son on the ear and shakes her head in disbelief, mumbling something about having boys. Meanwhile, Crew is scanning the dining room, obviously searching out my other smokin’ sisters, which puts a damper on my short-lived amusement. I know at least one of them will be all over him before the night is over, and seeing how I’m going on a date with someone else, I can’t very well call dibs on him, or whatever my sisters usually do when they all see a cute guy they’re interested in. Never before have I cared much to find out how this process works, but I’m guessing it’s not like food. I suppose licking his face real quick to mark him as mine for when I get back wouldn’t be appropriate. “Hudson! Hey, Hudson, your date just got here! Doug’s got him cornered in the lobby,” Cheyenne calls out from behind me, emphasizing the word ‘date’ with the sugary-sweet voice she only uses when she wants something. And unfortunately, I know exactly what she wants right now. I twist around at the waist, careful not to snarl my nose up at her, and tip my chin in acknowledgement. “Thanks, sis,” I bite out. “I’ll go save him.” Turning back toward Mary, Crew, and Caleb, I twist the corners of my lips up in an apologetic smile. “Excuse me. It was a pleasure meeting you all, and I’m sure I’ll see you around quite a bit during your stay. If you need anything, please don’t hesitate to call. Our cell numbers are listed in the welcome packet in your cabin.” Then, without introducing Cheyenne to the group, which I know she’s eagerly waiting for, I spin on my heel and hurry out to the lobby to rescue Beckham from the wrath of my dad’s inability to shut up, wondering why this day of all days Crew Elliott walked into the lodge. It’s almost like a sick joke from the gods. Finally, after hearing my boy-crazy sisters for years, never understanding what all the hype was about, I’m introduced to someone who turns my insides to a liquefied, chaotic mess at the mere sight of him, only to be yanked away and put in the arms of someone else. Awesome-sauce.  

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=crrSC_daE_s]

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  5 stars of beauty, touching every single emotion in the eloquent way only Noelle can.

~ S.E. Hall, NYT Bestselling Author

Poignant and timely, the subject matter of Erin Noelle's Spark is both thought provoking and heart wrenching. 5 stars to a romance that is so much more than a simple love story.

-Carey Heywood, NYT & USA Today Bestselling Author

Noelle really shows her breadth as a writer in Spark––funny, sexy, sad, witty and poignant––all in exactly the right places. Set among the grandeur of the Colorado mountains and caught in the middle of legalized marijuana, ski bunnies and hipsters, Spark is not only a story about young love, but conviction, strength, and the meaning of family. A five-star, do-not-miss, full-of-feels new adult read!

~Rachel Blaufeld, Author of the Electric Tunnel series and Redemption Lane

Erin Noelle has a way of drawing you into a story and you just don't want to leave. You can smell the air, touch the characters and become one with her words. Granted, Erin has a way of making your chest clench, find it necessary to scream and grab a tissue.

~Joanne Schwehm, Author

Bottom line is ... Erin Noelle hit this one out of the park. She gives you EXACTLY what you want when you want it, like she was in my brain, piecing together the perfect new adult novel. Like she was like "I wonder how Ashley would feel about this" and then WHAM she gives it to me ... you will love, you will cry, you will be broken, you will be empathetic, you will be ANGRY AS FAAAK, and you will be put back together in a way that only Erin can ...

FIVE EPIC STARS UP IN SMOKE!!!!!!!!!!!

~Ashley Suzanne, Author

Just finished reading an ARC of Spark by Erin Noelle!!! Wow!! This book kept me up all night reading. I'm telling you now that Spark is a definite must read that will have your emotions running wild and falling in love with Crew, Hudson and everyone else that you'll meet. Thank you, Erin!! ☆☆☆☆☆

~Victoria Ashley, NYT Bestselling Author

   

   

 Erin Noelle is a Texas native, where she lives with her husband and two young daughters. While earning her degree in History at the University of Houston, she rediscovered her love for reading that was first instilled by her grandmother when she was a young child. A lover of happily-ever-afters, both historical and current, Erin is an avid reader of all romance novels. Her titles published include the Book Boyfriend Series, the Dusk ‘Til Dawn Series, Translucent, Conspire — co-authored with SE Hall, Surviving Us, and MILF: Wrong Kind of Love. Her books have been a part of the USA Today Bestselling list and the Amazon and Barnes & Noble overall Top 100.

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More Jethro & Nila? Yes Please!

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Blurb
“She healed me. She broke me. I set her free. But we are in this together. We will end this together. The rules of this ancient game can’t be broken.”
Nila Weaver no longer recognises herself. She’s left her lover, her courage, and her promise. Two debts down. Too many to go.
Jethro Hawk no longer recognises himself. He’s embraced what he always ran from, and now faces punishment far greater than he feared.
It’s almost time. It’s demanding to be paid.
The Third Debt will be the ultimate test...

HOW HAD THIS happened?
Where did it all go so wrong?
Jethro was supposed to love me. I was supposed to love him.
Yet he’d given me over to his family. He’d bound the ropes, blindfolded my eyes, and gifted me to his kin.
“Know what time it is, Nila Weaver?” Daniel breathed in my ear.
I jerked away. The restraints around my body meant I couldn’t run, couldn’t fight; I couldn’t even see.
Oh, God.
Please don’t let them do this.
I wanted to scream for Jethro to save me. I wanted him to put an end to this and claim me once and for all. Didn’t our connection mean anything?
You know it’s all different now.
Ever since I’d returned to Hawksridge Hall, things had been different—horribly, horribly different.
The fire crackled in the billiards room where the Hawk men had been playing poker. The air was hot and muggy and laced with cognac fumes.
Tonight, I’d had plans to end whatever changed between Jethro and me forever.
But now…those plans had changed.
Kestrel ran his fingers over my collar. “Relax, little Weaver. It will all be over soon.”
Cut chuckled. “Yes, soon you can go to sleep and pretend none of this happened.”
My ears strained for one other voice. The voice of the man who controlled my heart even though he’d thrown it back in my face.
But only silence greeted me.
Daniel snickered, licking my cheek. “Time to pay, Weaver.”
Someone clapped and in a voice full of darkness and doom said, “It’s time for the Third Debt.”

I shook my head, my heart smarting with pain. “What happened to you?” I reached for him, wanting to clutch his forearm and reassure myself that our bond was still there.
With a sneer, he sidestepped, staying out of reach. “What happened to me?” Smiling coldly, he made me seem as if I were some idiot child asking for the universe’s secrets. “I got better. That’s what happened to me.”
“I don’t—I don’t understand. You weren’t ill.”
“You wouldn’t understand. No one can understand another’s problems. All you need to know is that I’m cured and I won’t make the same mistakes again.”
I took a step back, goosebumps scattering over my body. “Don’t say that. I’m in love with you. Something like that cannot be undone—”
“Love is a chemical imbalance, Ms. Weaver. I am no longer imbalanced.” He came closer. “Don’t get cold feet on your invitation. You promised you would come, and you don’t want to give me a reason to punish you so soon…do you?”
My skin pinpricked with panic. That sentence should’ve dripped with eroticism. But it wasn’t. It was cold…lifeless…like him.
Snapping his fingers, Jethro held out his hand. He kept his digits curled slightly so I couldn’t see the tattoo marks on the tips. “Come. I want to be back at Hawksridge before sunrise.”

Nila dropped the jumper onto the desk, cupping her breasts. “Does this count as acceptable to you?”
I couldn’t breathe.
Everything I’d been running from made my head pound, my cock beg, and the drugs in my system to fucking disintegrate.
What was it about her? Why did she have this control over me? And why was I utterly, ridiculously helpless around her?
God fucking help me.
Didn’t she know the more she antagonised me and made me slip, the more likely Cut would give her to Daniel and fucking slaughter me in my sleep? I wanted to strike her—hammer the precariousness of our situation home.
“Why did you bring me here?” she murmured, skirting the desk.
I couldn’t tear my eyes away from the hard pinpricks on her chest. She couldn’t be cold—not in this furnace. That meant she was turned on.
My mind instantly went to one question. Is she wet?
“Kes told you. Our secrets are now yours.”
“I don’t think that’s the only reason.” Closing the distance, she licked her bottom lip. “I think you wanted me off the estate, so you could have me without anyone seeing.” Her voice layered with sex and invitation. “You wanted me away from the cameras, so you could drop the act and show me the truth.”
Fuck.
I cleared my throat. “What truth?”
“That all of this is a lie. That you’re still the man I fell for—playing the same game you said you were sick of before I left.”
Shaking my head, I tried to clear my thoughts. “You’re once again delusional.” Swallowing hard, I ordered, “Go down to the sorting floor. I have a meeting to take care of—”
“No,” she breathed. “I’m not going anywhere until you stop being an asshole and show me the real you.” Closing the final distance, she stood beside me, crackling with mischief and lust.
Locking eyes, she undid the button and zipper of her jeans. “Don’t hide from me, Jethro. I can’t stay strong if you cut me out.”
My legs bunched to push the swivel chair backward. One heave and I could launch myself free and run from her web. But somehow, I couldn’t. I remained tethered in place; breathing fast, fear swamping my lungs.
She grabbed my wrist. “Don’t fight it. You can’t fight the inevitable.” Without a word, she pressed my hand into her trousers.

Review

I'd give this more than 5 if I could!

Pepper never ceases to amaze me! I'm in love with her books and her characters she writes.

Just when you think you know, you don't! My heart skipped beats, raced, died and exploded once again. I cant say enough wonderful things about this series. I don't want to ruin any of it for those who haven't started or just starting.

I will say this, YOU NEED TO READ THIS SERIES!!

My heart will be waiting to beat again when the next is available in August!

I love Nila!! Well Jethro too! If I had to recommend any series to someone I would recommend Indebted and Monsters in the Dark!

Series Reading Order

Debt Inheritance (Indebted #1) FREE

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First Debt (Indebted #2)

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Second Debt (Indebted #3)

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Third Debt (Indebted #4)

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PREORDER Fourth Debt (Indebted #5) NOW

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About the Author:

Pepper Winters wears many roles. Some of them include writer, reader, sometimes wife. She loves dark, taboo stories that twist with your head. The more tortured the hero, the better, and she constantly thinks up ways to break and fix her characters. Oh, and sex... her books have sex.
She loves to travel and has an amazing, fabulous hubby who puts up with her love affair with her book boyfriends.

Her Dark Erotica books include:
Tears of Tess (Monsters in the Dark #1)
Quintessentially Q (Monsters in the Dark #2)
Her Grey Romance books include:
Destroyed

STALK Pepper: Website | Pinterest |Facebook | Twitter | Blog | Goodreads

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Sneak Peek Excerpt

Excerpt from Third Debt by Pepper Winters.

^{I’D GIVEN MY heart to my enemy.}

^{I’d fallen.}

^Fallen.

^Fallen.

^Hard.

^{There was no bottom to my affection. No limit to what I would do to protect it.}

^{Jethro was mine and it was up to me….}

^{…up to me to end this.}

^{I was no longer trying to save myself.}

^{I was trying to save him.}

^{From his nightmares.}

^{From himself.}

^{From them.}

Jethro & Nila Return in Third Debt!

AVAILABLE NOW!

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Blurb
“She healed me. She broke me. I set her free. But we are in this together. We will end this together. The rules of this ancient game can’t be broken.”
Nila Weaver no longer recognises herself. She’s left her lover, her courage, and her promise. Two debts down. Too many to go.
Jethro Hawk no longer recognises himself. He’s embraced what he always ran from, and now faces punishment far greater than he feared.
It’s almost time. It’s demanding to be paid.
The Third Debt will be the ultimate test...

Series Reading Order

Debt Inheritance (Indebted #1) FREE

Amazon: http://amzn.to/17UZImo

iBooks: http://bit.ly/1BjoFUA

Nook: http://bit.ly/1Cl8rau

Kobo: http://bit.ly/1zoFkFL

Goodreads: http://bit.ly/1xIW5Vt

First Debt (Indebted #2)

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iBooks: http://bit.ly/1sMEyQo

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Kobo: http://bit.ly/1qmB3d7

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Second Debt (Indebted #3)

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Third Debt (Indebted #4)

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iBooks: http://bit.ly/1ufkO3z

Nook: http://bit.ly/1DZctL0

Kobo: http://bit.ly/1xgCSvb

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PREORDER Fourth Debt (Indebted #5) NOW

Amazon: http://amzn.to/1Dl6Lji

Nook: http://bit.ly/1J5pDUA

iBooks: http://bit.ly/1BjoFUA

Kobo: http://bit.ly/1zoFkFL

About the Author:

Pepper Winters wears many roles. Some of them include writer, reader, sometimes wife. She loves dark, taboo stories that twist with your head. The more tortured the hero, the better, and she constantly thinks up ways to break and fix her characters. Oh, and sex... her books have sex.
She loves to travel and has an amazing, fabulous hubby who puts up with her love affair with her book boyfriends.
Her Dark Erotica books include:
Tears of Tess (Monsters in the Dark #1)
Quintessentially Q (Monsters in the Dark #2)
Her Grey Romance books include:
Destroyed

STALK Pepper: Website | Pinterest |Facebook | Twitter | Blog | Goodreads

THANK YOU!

Beat

(A standalone novel)

New York Times & USA Today Bestselling Author Vi Keeland

Genre: A contemporary romance novel

Add Beat to your TBR list on Goodreads!  

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Want a sneak peek of Beat?  Sign up for Vi’s mailing list now and get a sneak peek! http://eepurl.com/ba8vov

RELEASE DATE: June 15, 2015

Cover

Cover designer: Sommer Stein, Perfect Pear Creative 

Model: Nicolas Simoes 

Stalk  Model Nicolas Simoes on Instagram

https://instagram.com/nicolassimoes/

Photographer: Brice Hardelin 

Blurb

Dimpled smile of a boy

Hard body of a man

Sings like an angel

Fucks like the devil

I was stuck between a rock(star) and a hard place.

At fifteen, his poster hung on my bedroom wall.  At twenty-five his body hovered over mine.  Every girl’s fantasy became my reality.  I was dating a rockstar.  Yet I was slowly falling for another man.  The problem was—the two men—they shared a tour bus.    

Flynn Beckham was the opening act.

Dylan Ryder was the headliner.

What happens when the opening act begins to shine so bright, it seems to dim everything else in its wake?

I’ll tell you what happens.  Things get ugly. 

Additional Books by Vi Keeland

Throb

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Amazon UK: http://amzn.to/1CsRg9d

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Worth the Fight (MMA Fighter Series, Book One)

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Worth The Chance (MMA Fighter Series, Book Two)

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Itunes:  http://bit.ly/1gHMCZg

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Worth Forgiving (MMA Fighter Series, Book Three)

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Belong to You (A Cole Novel, Book One)

Amazon US : http://amzn.to/1jdAlRk

Made For You (A Cole Novel, Book Two)

Amazon US: http://amzn.to/1qLLdIk

First Thing I See (Stand Alone)

Amazon US: http://amzn.to/1qLL4ET

Left Behind (Stand Alone)
Amazon US: http://amzn.to/1wvew5K

About the Author:

Vi Keeland

Vi Keeland is a native New Yorker with three children that occupy most of her free time, which she complains about often, but wouldn't change for the world. She is a bookworm and has been known to read her kindle at stop lights, while styling her hair, cleaning, walking, during sporting events, and frequently while pretending to work.  She is a boring attorney by day, and an exciting smut author by night!

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THANK YOU!

REKINDLE BY ASHLEY SUZANNE
BLOG TOUR APRIL 6-10

BLURB

Since Christina Mitchell was a young girl, her calling’s been clear:  to become a paramedic.  Determined to be the best in her field—compete in a boy’s club—she sacrificed everything in order to prove her worth.  Before she realized it, Christina was falling in love with a firefighter, Nicholas Conrad.  Christina knew the stakes and what it could do to her career, and his, but also recognized her soul mate in the charismatic hero.

In their cocoon, everything she’s dreamed becomes reality until tragedy strikes destroying a part of Nick with it.  The happily ever after they’d been living fell apart, leaving her with no choice but to walk away. There was no amount of hope left to cover the pain that twisted in her gut when Nick stepped aside and allowed her to go.

Now, picking up the pieces, she has budget cuts to blame when the pair is forced to work together once again. Determined to remain professional, their past a secret from the rest of the house, they’re both aware it’s only a matter of time before the truth is revealed.

With tensions rising every time they’re together, Christina has only two roads to follow: forget the past and risk her heart or disappear forever.

Will Nick and Tina be able to rekindle their love? Or will everything they’ve worked so hard for go up in smoke?

ABOUT THE AUTHOR 

Ashley Suzanne has been writing as long as she can remember. As a youngster, she was always creating stories and talking to her imaginary friends. Thankfully, her parents also carried this love of fiction, and helped her grow into the writer she is today.

Ashley is a bestselling author and spends equal amounts of time writing and reading. Being the true book whore she is, Ashley would rather dive into a good book before going out of her house. Giving up her career in Real Estate, Ashley has officially moved to hermit status.

When Ashley isn't coming up with her next story, you'll most likely find her on the couch with a kindle in her hand (probably watching some crappy reality show while , annoying her husband by telling him all about her new book boyfriend or spending quality time with her two gremlins ... Sorry, I mean adorable children.

STALK ASHLEY AT:

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Excerpt

PROLOGUE
TINA

It’s been almost a year—a few weeks shy—and nothing’s changed.  He’s not changing.  Rolling over, I place my hand on his back, rubbing gently.

“Nick.  Wake up, baby.  You’re on shift soon.” 

Grunting, shrugging me off him, he maneuvers to face me, his eyes expressing nothing.  Not hurt.  Not pain.  Not even love.  Just…nothing.

“Thanks,” he mutters.  Rubbing his eyes, he sits up quickly and walks into the bathroom.  I hear the faint sound of the shower starting, and trying to be the good wife I am, I drag myself from the blankets and make my way downstairs toward the kitchen tugging on my robe as I pass it. Covering my bare body, longing for Nick’s touch, I numbly start the coffee.   My thoughts drift to a different time as I go through the motion. Not even Hemingway, our beloved pooch can stirred me from my morning funk. I open the back door, and let him escape my mood and take care of his business while I wait for Nick.

When I can no longer hear the whining of the old pipes, I pour him a mug.  Setting it at his place at the table, I take my own across from him, purposefully letting my robe ride high to expose my thigh.  Nick strides down the stairs a few minutes later wearing his uniform pants and DFD blue tee shirt slung over his shoulder.

Wordlessly, he sits in his chair and with the mug to his lips, stares past me.  This is the rut we’ve fallen into, barely speaking and when we do, it’s short and clipped, no matter how hard I try to pull something more out of him.

“I bet the chief would take you back at 75 if you talked to him.  Things are better now,” I offer.  At least when we were at the same house, before Nick was transferred to 22, he was forced to interact with me.  It was strictly professional, but it was something.

He doesn’t verbally respond, instead gives me a raised eyebrow and a frown to match.  Then without a peep he goes back to his coffee.  I casually bounce my foot, inching my chair closer, attempting to draw his attention to my needy, bare leg but as usual lately, it’s in vain.  He’s not here with me, but barricaded behind the walls in his own world.

He’s been in that damn world for longer than I can handle.

“I gotta go.  I’ll see you Wednesday.”  Rising from his chair, he pulls the shirt over his head, stops at the couch to shove his feet into his work boots.

Tending to a whining Hemingway, I open the door and the playful pup bounds inside, nearly colliding with the refrigerator as he overcorrects his turn to the living room.  Following in his direction, I pause at the entryway to watch Hemingway try, much like I’ve been doing, to get some affection from his owner, but he’s brushed away.  Only, Hemingway’s more brave than I am when he goes in again, not caring for the reciprocation, instead leaping up and licking the entire side of Nick’s face.  A part of me is happy I’m not the only one Nick’s withdrawn from, a small smile daring my lips, but then the dreadful thought enters my mind that I can’t shake:  Is this how I look?  While I’m standing here, exposing myself, begging for affection and attention, and going completely unnoticed? 

When his boots are laced, Nick grabs his jacket from the arm of the sofa and without a kiss or even goodbye, he’s out the door. 

Hot tears break free, falling down my cheeks when his truck fires to life and the power steering pump groans as he pulls out of the driveway.  And there it is, another morning, always the same, ever since Yaris died.  It’s like Nick forgot he’s not in this alone.  He has a support system, and a damn good one.  He has a wife.  He has people who love him.

It’s got to be hard for him to see that when he’s trapped inside his own head.  And no matter how hard I try for him—for us—it’s never enough.

And I can’t take it anymore.

Walking to the bedroom, I slip into a pair of yoga pants, pull on a sports bra and a fitted tee follows.  The tears never cease despite my unwavering resolve. Grabbing a sweatshirt from the back of the door, I take my suitcase from the closet and start piling in the rest of my clothes. 

I’ll never stop loving him, but until he loves himself again, he can’t love me or give me what I need.  What I deserve.  And until the Nick I married returns, I can’t keep fighting alone. 

Sniffling as I walk down the hallway, past the pictures of our life together, I debate taking them with me.  We haven’t been together for a long time, but looking at an image captured of us exchanging our vows, it seems like a lifetime ago.  Stopping in front of the last frame, a simple picture of us holding Hemingway as a puppy, I decide against taking them.  I don’t have room in my arms and I’ll be able to keep the memories in my heart forever.  Maybe leaving them for him to see the images of our happiness will bring him back.  Maybe it won’t, but it’s worth a shot.

Snatching my phone off the counter, I call my best friend.

“Lacy,” I sob, a hiccup in my voice.

“What’s wrong?” she asks, already on the defense.  She knows what I’m going through, more than anyone else.

“I’m done.  I can’t anymore.  Can you come get me?  And let me sleep on your couch?  Please,” I beg.

“Give me fifteen.  My home’s your home.  You know that.  No need to ask.”

Stifling my urge lay down and cry, I hang up, shove the phone in my purse and step into a pair of ballet flats.  Walking out the front door, knowing Nick needs him, I give Hemingway a kiss on his snout, my hand scratching the place behind his ears he loves so much, and whisper, “Take care of him. He needs you.” The only reply I’m granted is a wet swipe of his head against my cheek as he nuzzles close causing my heart to break further.  I force myself up, snatch my key on the coffee table and lock the door behind me.

And for fifteen minutes, maybe closer to twenty, I sit on the porch hashing through all the memories Nick and I made in this house.  All the great times we spent together.  None of it in vain.

I’ll be fine.  I’ll move on.  I’ll get over it.  It’ll be hard as hell and it’s not something I pictured doing the day we got married, but I was pushed to this point. I nearly chant it, needing a tangible excuse to ease the pain. Not just my own, but the one I’m adding to Nick when he comes home tonight to find me gone. That is if he even notices. My body slumps forward at the heartbreaking thought.

Lacy’s car pulls in the driveway giving me a short reprieve from the  consuming sadness, watching as she steps out and stands beside the driver’s side door, watching me with sympathetic eyes.  “Come on.  I’ve got you.”

Squaring my shoulders, determined to be strong, I inhale a deep breath and step off our porch for the last time.  Once my suitcase in the backseat, I climb in the front and drop my purse on the floorboard between my feet, already resting my head back.

“Wanna talk?” Lacy asks, backing out of the driveway.

“Nope.” I reply instantly then slowly murmur.  “I just wanna feel.”  And that’s exactly what I do.  I feel.  Everything.  The end of my marriage.  The loss of my other half.  The realization that I have nothing. 

Staring at my wedding ring, I debate taking it off, but it’s too soon.  It doesn’t feel right. I’ll wait.

For six months.  Until my divorce is final.  When I’m no longer Christina Conrad, but back to the name I was given when I was born.  Slowly sliding the ring from my finger, I consider shoving it back in place when it gets stuck at my knuckle.  Spotting Nick from across the court house lot, he curtly nods in my direction and shatters my heart into a million pieces, more than I thought possible.  Gritting my teeth, head bowed and determined, I force the band over my knuckle, fighting through the discomfort until it finally gives. My hands tremble clasping the small, gold circle between my fingers as I stare at it, wondering how a piece of metal ever meant so much to me before dropping it into the coin holder of my wallet.

With a deep, cleansing breath, refusing to look in Nick’s direction again, I pull out of the parking lot waiting for more tears to come.  When they don’t, I should feel relieved, happy even, instead there’s nothing more than overwhelming numbness that goes into overdrive, blocking out any other emotion I should be feeling.